even though we're in our own process, i am still here

my heart is aching, strange dreams...
you are still in bed, sleeping,
weaving your process
as i sit in my own complication.

wild is the wind that blows this current,
wild is the heart
tampered is the mind,
but how do i continue on
while integrating both into this reality,
without leaving one behind?

uncertainty is now highlighted on the forest lawn,
pulsating, strong,
infiltrating my dreams...
of you i grow weary,
though i push forward
through your tangled mosh pit
with force and struggle,
desperate to understand
how are we're still serving one another.

you remove yourself and i begin observing,
skimming only that which applies,
circumventing like an angry child.
the shifts enter in so subtly!
how dangerous the hazards must be handled
in order to survive,
but don't i want more than this?
did "creating anew" already drain out
with the water of the bath?
how unfortunate my wand is out of commission,
stuck with glue to the glass
of my own ceiling.

sure, this will pass, it always does...
but how to navigate through the ever-lasting uncertainty
becomes my ingrown mystery.
to uncover rapidly is perhaps not possible
so just take it all in, patiently and
taste the multitude of flavors
on this merry-go-round
of grown-up make belief.

just be certain to stay afloat,
cause all too quickly
i've found myself underneath
being tossed around like a rag doll,
long ago having fumbled with the rope.

the rainbow increases its speed
undulating me around
exploring the many ways
to funnel flow through me with sound, color & light
all with great emphasis
on encouraging me to take flight.