present past

tappin' into some sadness,
tears knockin' on the back of my eyelids.
maybe it's the Sigur Ros playin in my mp3
maybe it's the fact that i'm walking into the morn'
at 2:03.

do old friends and past loves, know us best?
or do they claim to what they once knew
only to box in the rest?

indeed the flood is tempting the dawn
and though i've built no border
it sits, it simmers, at that point
right before boiling.

maybe it was all to trigger these sensations,
to encourage another release...
but it seems to have only shakin' my tree,
to prematurely let go of unripened fruit,
to watch it drop out underneath,
from my skirts, onto the grass
below.

where am i still boxing in the ring,
when am i not applying everything
to the ones i surround myself with?
where am i being scarce with the credit
i only want to be resounding in?
perhaps my corridors are filled too full
to permit any sort of reflective echo.

oh and the words run through my tissues!
maybe to drop down into a new scenery
or blanch out what is no longer of use to me.
i suppose it's this in between season
permitting me perspective
on what once was,
and what's now within greater reason.

managing our energy

our voices are so powerful!
what is the fear surrounding our ability & choice to use them?
do we not trust we know when to use them wisely? perhaps we've been children holding raging chainsaws too many times. yes, i know i've been there.

is our fear ingrained so deeply, through history? are we fearing our demise, our decapitation of choice to be heard and ultimately, our death?

"someone will listen!!!" my heart cries out inside...

(in that very moment while writing, a woman near by said...)

"i wanted to punch him in the throat"

well, i guess not everyone will or can listen to what is being spoken.
...why not walk away then? why just sit there and hear, only to then bitch?

what is it which keeps us in our inner workings of rut, annoyance & rackets? of course it's us. but i mean beyond that? what is the underbelly of service to? even the individual boils down to the barrel of basics...

so much oppression & many power struggles.

oppression... a weapon of mass destruction, used to suffocate another, manipulate beliefs...
power struggles... not being heard, not being listened to, unmet needs fester

self respect,
there is enough love in this world!
step from lack & scarcity,
best of chance
in courageous authenticity!