vancity sunset

the buildings reach up to scrape the sky while the sun's residue paints dusk with amber highlights.

my stoic nature acquires no accolades.
that's enough, ang'

convenient unsound technology

internet: a place to connect to a limitless quantity of people unlike ever before.  ironic, this massing scale simultaneously dilutes the lines of emotional vulnerability, curtailing love & her readying accessibility

a poke experience

360º of vast ocean, soaring high as the condor, the illusion of fragmentation or a defined segment, bending the molecule at a quickened pace.  a piece of the whole, a part of the piece, apparent it is of it’s own, for the moment at least.  a pulsating rapid arrow, this was what i became; i pulled from the whole to express an unbounded aspect of the humane.  infinite as a numeric configuration, complex beyond the mysteries of the heart, a synergy of undetectable aromatics, an insatiable thirst to the palate.  immeasurable to the stars quantity, beyond a snowflake’s diversity, incomparable to a blinding ray of golden sun.  we extract ourselves from an omnipresent spring of dark matter that lies cavernous while simultaneously embraces our skin, weaves through our walk & laces our words.  it’s the breeze the wind carries from the ocean’s surf, the space between the bee’s buzzing wings, the beats between the vibrating each hummingbird sings.  individual creature, miraculous human being.

querying the ties

weaving a web,
accompanied by strings & strands,
angels echo their command.
amidst the chaos of where we all intersect.
nature ties in, weaving together a tapestry of connectivity.
the creaky wood planks absorb our debris.
we are not alone!
droplets of melody translate through my inner drum
and into the lens of inner vision.
a past of material belongings
rendered by close-knit marketing ploys.
angelic in guise, not all who sing
know how to harmonize.
strange, the unsteadying pull i direct towards
which only throws me off my course.
the blacksmith... you captured her attention long ago;
i cannot compete, without pointed effort.

rattling solanaceae

i crossed the border

left your sweet smiling face in my rearview mirror,

called it a day, slipped out of this 3^rd sunset

and into your deadly nightshade.

“datura!”, i call to the sky yet she cannot listen.

the cracks in my vocal cords

cause inaudible phonation,

unpenetrating to her thick intoxication.

intercepted tones reverberate through my roots,

transmitting agonizing chills

across that which twines ligaments to bones.

where were you so many moons ago?

quarter, half, full, new, red, blue,

waxing, waning; she eclipses the sun.

i lodge my being,

a foolish attempt to cleanse her turbidity,

only to arrive mantled in self-inflicted despondency.

she drops her veil against lumen’s abundance,

a hasty attempt to uphold the air of composed humility

fearing starlight’s crisp clarity.

soma, tainted by her taste,

her quivering lip, her perfumed sighs.

fixated i am,

her dripping tap calling attention to decoy.

“oh temptress, be brave and shut your dam!”

yet she cast her magic on another,

doubtful to be the last time.

you snag and tear my viscera,

an attempt to bleed my life force,

and quench your famished childhood thirst.

recoil your overgrown tendrils,

bar the dam!

undefined moments overdue

i am saturated.

mistakenly,

i offered up my earth bound flesh

to carelessly drown.

temporarily saddened,

she wraps her weighted amulet around my ankles and

bids me adieu.

while i plummet to a rayless situation,

air molecules escape

the boundaries of my mouth,

compressing my existence into one potentized

moment of central importance.

marked by the vacillating shape shifter,

i tow the remaining beats of my heart off the

inundated floor and hold it against the hollow,

where it’d belonged before.

the venom has ceased coursing,

and in this stillness, i’ve surrendered.

i sing out again

this time to a place within,

where language is non-essential;

the harp strums out my quintessential.

i fetch my breath and choose reanimation,

as this is no time for biodegrading.

side winding

blind sighted,

my heart minding my life unwinding.

at your collapse i unfolded into the past...

our dynamic you say, our power play.

manipulate, violate,

you’ve imprinted on me, corded to be everlasting in this scene.

emit your hues, each perfumed to play their tune.

sweet siren hook and sink me, clip my fins, drag me upstream.

let’s all take a deep breath, inhale the mercurial fumes.

undone, unknown, unfolding into this mess, completely alone.

implant your subtle caries, lace your volatility.

fixated on you, how silly of me to cling

while your precariousness leads me askew.

singed retinae, blurred focus,

sun-spots obscuring my internal direction,

a finale!  suppressed combustion, blinded by your inhibition.

the smoldering sun has lost it aurum,

i’ve dove for the last time into the shallow pit

of your emotional re-run.

i'm gonna be down when the spring has sprung
i'm gonna be tired to the very bone
i'm gonna be all, alone
til you seek me out,
and take me home.

heart opening

joyful blessings, bursting forth.
beings held on this vibrant journey of twine, trees & vines,
unearthed oceans, placid, vibrant, unleashed.
welcome! stellar star born baby bottom cupped in your nurturing hands, cooing, crawling, waddling, walking forth.
experience each other fully, bless every day with gratitude
and rejoice while unfolding within your lotus petals.

trying not to loose my light,
trying not to bend.
trying not to loose my sight,
for i am not out on lend.

let me put my hands in your earth

breathing

desnudo

in the sun

en la tierra

under a tree

you and me

on the moss

in the garden

aromatic herbs

buzzing wings

flowering blossoms

edible fruits

nourished hearts

sacred beings

reveling

ravishing

opening,

unraveling,

unfolding,

outstretched,

amantes

father's day

Oodie

thank you...

for always cutting my meat
for teaching me the basics of a car
for demonstrating the delicate art of napping

for having patience when you don't understand my actions
for guiding me to see past your words
for providing, in all the unseen ways that you do

for engaging in limitless growth
for trusting me on a deeper level
for unconditionally loving me

thank you for rising above what you lacked as a child,
so that i may experience an abundance of joy, a life of gratitude,
and know what it means to be blessed.

love Sacajawea

even though we're in our own process, i am still here

my heart is aching, strange dreams...
you are still in bed, sleeping,
weaving your process
as i sit in my own complication.

wild is the wind that blows this current,
wild is the heart
tampered is the mind,
but how do i continue on
while integrating both into this reality,
without leaving one behind?

uncertainty is now highlighted on the forest lawn,
pulsating, strong,
infiltrating my dreams...
of you i grow weary,
though i push forward
through your tangled mosh pit
with force and struggle,
desperate to understand
how are we're still serving one another.

you remove yourself and i begin observing,
skimming only that which applies,
circumventing like an angry child.
the shifts enter in so subtly!
how dangerous the hazards must be handled
in order to survive,
but don't i want more than this?
did "creating anew" already drain out
with the water of the bath?
how unfortunate my wand is out of commission,
stuck with glue to the glass
of my own ceiling.

sure, this will pass, it always does...
but how to navigate through the ever-lasting uncertainty
becomes my ingrown mystery.
to uncover rapidly is perhaps not possible
so just take it all in, patiently and
taste the multitude of flavors
on this merry-go-round
of grown-up make belief.

just be certain to stay afloat,
cause all too quickly
i've found myself underneath
being tossed around like a rag doll,
long ago having fumbled with the rope.

the rainbow increases its speed
undulating me around
exploring the many ways
to funnel flow through me with sound, color & light
all with great emphasis
on encouraging me to take flight.

present past

tappin' into some sadness,
tears knockin' on the back of my eyelids.
maybe it's the Sigur Ros playin in my mp3
maybe it's the fact that i'm walking into the morn'
at 2:03.

do old friends and past loves, know us best?
or do they claim to what they once knew
only to box in the rest?

indeed the flood is tempting the dawn
and though i've built no border
it sits, it simmers, at that point
right before boiling.

maybe it was all to trigger these sensations,
to encourage another release...
but it seems to have only shakin' my tree,
to prematurely let go of unripened fruit,
to watch it drop out underneath,
from my skirts, onto the grass
below.

where am i still boxing in the ring,
when am i not applying everything
to the ones i surround myself with?
where am i being scarce with the credit
i only want to be resounding in?
perhaps my corridors are filled too full
to permit any sort of reflective echo.

oh and the words run through my tissues!
maybe to drop down into a new scenery
or blanch out what is no longer of use to me.
i suppose it's this in between season
permitting me perspective
on what once was,
and what's now within greater reason.

passion blossoms

oh sweetness
i hear you calling,
from across the sea
your waves flow through me.

and i feel you near my soul,
in my heart beating full -
you lift me up
oh sweet Venus!

gentle tears rolling down
flushing my heart
cleansing the ground
only to unite with source
back to the sea, sweet Eros.

trust i am with you,
your deepest heart knows!
allow the mind to rest,
making no attempt to canonize
or decipher the codes
for there is no drop of ocean harboring the best!

expand in love,
love it all,
as it is the everything
which only exists
when we are limitless.

i will love all of you
without yanking you apart
like a taxidermist,
who has unknowingly
squandered the heart.

i see you in me
i see me in you,
the passiflora vines weave curiously
to see each other anew.

we dance as a life force
to the collective drum,
pulsating together
in harmonious unison.

acceptance...

back on the menu! perhaps for the entirety of this life?...

what does it mean to really accept someone regardless of the choices they make or beyond the common value pack of age, race and gender?

to start, i must remove the word "really" = acceptance is acceptance, there is no "really".

trust is trust.
forgive is to forgive &
love is love.

there are no varying degrees "really", are there?

if my word is my word, why would i tell another "trust me"?
if i truly have forgiven, then there is no space to maintain resentment or be triggered over a person or situation.

it's easy to accept someone until they take an action we perceive to (a) be against us or simply (b) not within the realm we agree to live in.

how interesting that K, someone i've always experienced a deep, incredible love & admiration for all my life, is the one who has pushed my perceptions, overwhelmed my boundaries, destroyed my comforts and... from a child's broken heart to a jaded parent's point of view (in basic language), someone who has "let me down". (i use this term loosely, as it's mainly my expectations that walk me down into that pit of quicksand).

of course!! who else would i have stuck around for in such times, when i've often taken it all personally enough to question "how can he make such actions against me?!!"

and he, who's life would be ultimately affected, is most placid in the face of it all! he who has the two beautiful children, is the one who knocks the doors down, slices & perforates the fabric and shields himself in a puncture-proof vest.

where was i filing my complaint again?
who was i filing it against?

nectar

oh goddess!
oh sweet ecstasy!
i am on FIRE for you!!
i am blazing
drunk on your alcohol,
saturated by your nectar,
roaring & inextinguishable!

we are all a different translation of human existence

blessed be
the one who's heart sheds
like the arbutus tree.

ever unfolding,
like the uncoiling of the serpent
or the chrysalis of the butterfly,
all the metaphors
which teach my being to soar high.

the symbolic valentine expands,
the fiery life force offers a hand,
while the power of vitality births
my visions of life,
are constantly unearthed!

metamorphosis;
this existence
unravels me
like the aerial silk thread.

i hunger in this buffet only for more,
while the exquisite thirst & yearning
blast wide open all my doors.

life is my fountain of youth,
requiring a constant cajoling to drink
and trust the bitters of its vermouth.

fear is the comic catalyst to expand:
the siren communes symbiotically
with the sweet fruits of the land,
luring me deep, into the cavern within.

the lush forest of infinity
and the fairy tales of pan
each play a role
in the universal path
and cosmic plan.

linear time is short
in the labyrinth of corn-husks.
this vessel gallantly skips onward
doing all it must.

tapping the heads of cobblestone,
through puddles,
and o'er the lily pads it goes.
eternally into the rainbows,
for this quest is but
a scavenger hunt for gold.

the beauty is discovering
we are not mere beggars,
who accept only scraps -
every morsel is ore!

the secret is revealing
perception lies in translation -
we are all royal mortals!

so maintain your fluidity
and never surrender your ambidexterity
to the one who claims to have it all -
for that is the day
you will certainly fall.

a faint memory

sadness need not feel heavy,
it's simply another side of love

managing our energy

our voices are so powerful!
what is the fear surrounding our ability & choice to use them?
do we not trust we know when to use them wisely? perhaps we've been children holding raging chainsaws too many times. yes, i know i've been there.

is our fear ingrained so deeply, through history? are we fearing our demise, our decapitation of choice to be heard and ultimately, our death?

"someone will listen!!!" my heart cries out inside...

(in that very moment while writing, a woman near by said...)

"i wanted to punch him in the throat"

well, i guess not everyone will or can listen to what is being spoken.
...why not walk away then? why just sit there and hear, only to then bitch?

what is it which keeps us in our inner workings of rut, annoyance & rackets? of course it's us. but i mean beyond that? what is the underbelly of service to? even the individual boils down to the barrel of basics...

so much oppression & many power struggles.

oppression... a weapon of mass destruction, used to suffocate another, manipulate beliefs...
power struggles... not being heard, not being listened to, unmet needs fester

self respect,
there is enough love in this world!
step from lack & scarcity,
best of chance
in courageous authenticity!