my heart is aching, strange dreams...
you are still in bed, sleeping,
weaving your process
as i sit in my own complication.
wild is the wind that blows this current,
wild is the heart
tampered is the mind,
but how do i continue on
while integrating both into this reality,
without leaving one behind?
uncertainty is now highlighted on the forest lawn,
pulsating, strong,
infiltrating my dreams...
of you i grow weary,
though i push forward
through your tangled mosh pit
with force and struggle,
desperate to understand
how are we're still serving one another.
you remove yourself and i begin observing,
skimming only that which applies,
circumventing like an angry child.
the shifts enter in so subtly!
how dangerous the hazards must be handled
in order to survive,
but don't i want more than this?
did "creating anew" already drain out
with the water of the bath?
how unfortunate my wand is out of commission,
stuck with glue to the glass
of my own ceiling.
sure, this will pass, it always does...
but how to navigate through the ever-lasting uncertainty
becomes my ingrown mystery.
to uncover rapidly is perhaps not possible
so just take it all in, patiently and
taste the multitude of flavors
on this merry-go-round
of grown-up make belief.
just be certain to stay afloat,
cause all too quickly
i've found myself underneath
being tossed around like a rag doll,
long ago having fumbled with the rope.
the rainbow increases its speed
undulating me around
exploring the many ways
to funnel flow through me with sound, color & light
all with great emphasis
on encouraging me to take flight.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
present past
tappin' into some sadness,
tears knockin' on the back of my eyelids.
maybe it's the Sigur Ros playin in my mp3
maybe it's the fact that i'm walking into the morn'
at 2:03.
do old friends and past loves, know us best?
or do they claim to what they once knew
only to box in the rest?
indeed the flood is tempting the dawn
and though i've built no border
it sits, it simmers, at that point
right before boiling.
maybe it was all to trigger these sensations,
to encourage another release...
but it seems to have only shakin' my tree,
to prematurely let go of unripened fruit,
to watch it drop out underneath,
from my skirts, onto the grass
below.
where am i still boxing in the ring,
when am i not applying everything
to the ones i surround myself with?
where am i being scarce with the credit
i only want to be resounding in?
perhaps my corridors are filled too full
to permit any sort of reflective echo.
oh and the words run through my tissues!
maybe to drop down into a new scenery
or blanch out what is no longer of use to me.
i suppose it's this in between season
permitting me perspective
on what once was,
and what's now within greater reason.
tears knockin' on the back of my eyelids.
maybe it's the Sigur Ros playin in my mp3
maybe it's the fact that i'm walking into the morn'
at 2:03.
do old friends and past loves, know us best?
or do they claim to what they once knew
only to box in the rest?
indeed the flood is tempting the dawn
and though i've built no border
it sits, it simmers, at that point
right before boiling.
maybe it was all to trigger these sensations,
to encourage another release...
but it seems to have only shakin' my tree,
to prematurely let go of unripened fruit,
to watch it drop out underneath,
from my skirts, onto the grass
below.
where am i still boxing in the ring,
when am i not applying everything
to the ones i surround myself with?
where am i being scarce with the credit
i only want to be resounding in?
perhaps my corridors are filled too full
to permit any sort of reflective echo.
oh and the words run through my tissues!
maybe to drop down into a new scenery
or blanch out what is no longer of use to me.
i suppose it's this in between season
permitting me perspective
on what once was,
and what's now within greater reason.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
passion blossoms
oh sweetness
i hear you calling,
from across the sea
your waves flow through me.
and i feel you near my soul,
in my heart beating full -
you lift me up
oh sweet Venus!
gentle tears rolling down
flushing my heart
cleansing the ground
only to unite with source
back to the sea, sweet Eros.
trust i am with you,
your deepest heart knows!
allow the mind to rest,
making no attempt to canonize
or decipher the codes
for there is no drop of ocean harboring the best!
expand in love,
love it all,
as it is the everything
which only exists
when we are limitless.
i will love all of you
without yanking you apart
like a taxidermist,
who has unknowingly
squandered the heart.
i see you in me
i see me in you,
the passiflora vines weave curiously
to see each other anew.
we dance as a life force
to the collective drum,
pulsating together
in harmonious unison.
i hear you calling,
from across the sea
your waves flow through me.
and i feel you near my soul,
in my heart beating full -
you lift me up
oh sweet Venus!
gentle tears rolling down
flushing my heart
cleansing the ground
only to unite with source
back to the sea, sweet Eros.
trust i am with you,
your deepest heart knows!
allow the mind to rest,
making no attempt to canonize
or decipher the codes
for there is no drop of ocean harboring the best!
expand in love,
love it all,
as it is the everything
which only exists
when we are limitless.
i will love all of you
without yanking you apart
like a taxidermist,
who has unknowingly
squandered the heart.
i see you in me
i see me in you,
the passiflora vines weave curiously
to see each other anew.
we dance as a life force
to the collective drum,
pulsating together
in harmonious unison.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
acceptance...
back on the menu! perhaps for the entirety of this life?...
what does it mean to really accept someone regardless of the choices they make or beyond the common value pack of age, race and gender?
to start, i must remove the word "really" = acceptance is acceptance, there is no "really".
trust is trust.
forgive is to forgive &
love is love.
there are no varying degrees "really", are there?
if my word is my word, why would i tell another "trust me"?
if i truly have forgiven, then there is no space to maintain resentment or be triggered over a person or situation.
it's easy to accept someone until they take an action we perceive to (a) be against us or simply (b) not within the realm we agree to live in.
how interesting that K, someone i've always experienced a deep, incredible love & admiration for all my life, is the one who has pushed my perceptions, overwhelmed my boundaries, destroyed my comforts and... from a child's broken heart to a jaded parent's point of view (in basic language), someone who has "let me down". (i use this term loosely, as it's mainly my expectations that walk me down into that pit of quicksand).
of course!! who else would i have stuck around for in such times, when i've often taken it all personally enough to question "how can he make such actions against me?!!"
and he, who's life would be ultimately affected, is most placid in the face of it all! he who has the two beautiful children, is the one who knocks the doors down, slices & perforates the fabric and shields himself in a puncture-proof vest.
where was i filing my complaint again?
who was i filing it against?
what does it mean to really accept someone regardless of the choices they make or beyond the common value pack of age, race and gender?
to start, i must remove the word "really" = acceptance is acceptance, there is no "really".
trust is trust.
forgive is to forgive &
love is love.
there are no varying degrees "really", are there?
if my word is my word, why would i tell another "trust me"?
if i truly have forgiven, then there is no space to maintain resentment or be triggered over a person or situation.
it's easy to accept someone until they take an action we perceive to (a) be against us or simply (b) not within the realm we agree to live in.
how interesting that K, someone i've always experienced a deep, incredible love & admiration for all my life, is the one who has pushed my perceptions, overwhelmed my boundaries, destroyed my comforts and... from a child's broken heart to a jaded parent's point of view (in basic language), someone who has "let me down". (i use this term loosely, as it's mainly my expectations that walk me down into that pit of quicksand).
of course!! who else would i have stuck around for in such times, when i've often taken it all personally enough to question "how can he make such actions against me?!!"
and he, who's life would be ultimately affected, is most placid in the face of it all! he who has the two beautiful children, is the one who knocks the doors down, slices & perforates the fabric and shields himself in a puncture-proof vest.
where was i filing my complaint again?
who was i filing it against?
Monday, August 24, 2009
nectar
oh goddess!
oh sweet ecstasy!
i am on FIRE for you!!
i am blazing
drunk on your alcohol,
saturated by your nectar,
roaring & inextinguishable!
oh sweet ecstasy!
i am on FIRE for you!!
i am blazing
drunk on your alcohol,
saturated by your nectar,
roaring & inextinguishable!
we are all a different translation of human existence
blessed be
the one who's heart sheds
like the arbutus tree.
ever unfolding,
like the uncoiling of the serpent
or the chrysalis of the butterfly,
all the metaphors
which teach my being to soar high.
the symbolic valentine expands,
the fiery life force offers a hand,
while the power of vitality births
my visions of life,
are constantly unearthed!
metamorphosis;
this existence
unravels me
like the aerial silk thread.
i hunger in this buffet only for more,
while the exquisite thirst & yearning
blast wide open all my doors.
life is my fountain of youth,
requiring a constant cajoling to drink
and trust the bitters of its vermouth.
fear is the comic catalyst to expand:
the siren communes symbiotically
with the sweet fruits of the land,
luring me deep, into the cavern within.
the lush forest of infinity
and the fairy tales of pan
each play a role
in the universal path
and cosmic plan.
linear time is short
in the labyrinth of corn-husks.
this vessel gallantly skips onward
doing all it must.
tapping the heads of cobblestone,
through puddles,
and o'er the lily pads it goes.
eternally into the rainbows,
for this quest is but
a scavenger hunt for gold.
the beauty is discovering
we are not mere beggars,
who accept only scraps -
every morsel is ore!
the secret is revealing
perception lies in translation -
we are all royal mortals!
so maintain your fluidity
and never surrender your ambidexterity
to the one who claims to have it all -
for that is the day
you will certainly fall.
the one who's heart sheds
like the arbutus tree.
ever unfolding,
like the uncoiling of the serpent
or the chrysalis of the butterfly,
all the metaphors
which teach my being to soar high.
the symbolic valentine expands,
the fiery life force offers a hand,
while the power of vitality births
my visions of life,
are constantly unearthed!
metamorphosis;
this existence
unravels me
like the aerial silk thread.
i hunger in this buffet only for more,
while the exquisite thirst & yearning
blast wide open all my doors.
life is my fountain of youth,
requiring a constant cajoling to drink
and trust the bitters of its vermouth.
fear is the comic catalyst to expand:
the siren communes symbiotically
with the sweet fruits of the land,
luring me deep, into the cavern within.
the lush forest of infinity
and the fairy tales of pan
each play a role
in the universal path
and cosmic plan.
linear time is short
in the labyrinth of corn-husks.
this vessel gallantly skips onward
doing all it must.
tapping the heads of cobblestone,
through puddles,
and o'er the lily pads it goes.
eternally into the rainbows,
for this quest is but
a scavenger hunt for gold.
the beauty is discovering
we are not mere beggars,
who accept only scraps -
every morsel is ore!
the secret is revealing
perception lies in translation -
we are all royal mortals!
so maintain your fluidity
and never surrender your ambidexterity
to the one who claims to have it all -
for that is the day
you will certainly fall.
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