one action can impact an entire community

Jan. 30/09

class on the 27th covered the topic of “woundology”, something Whapio had spoken with the Bellingham crew before & needed to be addressed in this time as well. our previous birth circle had reeked of verbal diarrhea & voices were mostly only fueling the fire of pain. at what point are we only feeding our pain, creating relationships and bonds out of that wound, competing for the greater injury, relating to ourselves through that wound, then convincing others to jump onto the victim wagon? I love the perspective Whapio gave when she asked us all to consider "how much energy it would take for an open physical wound to remain open, if we didn’t allow it to heal?" wow! it’d take a lot of enrolling of other people’s energy, how could we do it all alone? in this community, a lot of us focus on the “earth wound” and the “birth wound” then stay stuck.

the next day’s class followed with “rank, power & its misuses”. quantum physics states “by silently managing someone, I collapse the infinite amount of choices that person could have made”. damn, how many times had I done that?? how many times have I projected my wants onto others? I’ve looked at this when doing discipline 1 & 2, but my awareness was greater now. one woman raised the question of how to parent and not misuse rank. Whapio replied “kids loose respect for their parents when they’ve lived a lifetime of being projected onto, then comes distance & separation. what’s required is mutual respect and co-creating choice.” okay, note to self.

the afternoon followed with our practical skills class, where we discussed our yonis, we questioned what our sexual wisdom to our children would/should be, then followed with pelvimetry, a physical exam & speculum exams on each other.

the week’s heaviness had been building, Whapio’s room had been visited by many crying faces, everyone’s b.s. was arising & hitting a wall. it all climaxed yesterday afternoon when Makenna addressed the class regarding the affair she & Abel had. she sat in the fire while we drilled her, asked questions, tried to understand, reflected on our own action or lack of action, we scrutinized the holes in our community, examined the impact it had on us all since many of us had seen it building over the past couple weeks and addressed how to proceed. his wife, Maria, sits in our circle and although affairs are common for Peruvians, they’re not openly discussed or admitted, even if the partner is aware.

in my North American upbringing of not crossing another’s boundaries, I’d dropped my role in the community. instead of simply being happy that I’d passed that test in the world already, proud that it wasn’t me, as I’d sensed Abel was willing to go there with whomever had been willing, I could’ve been direct with Makenna. my redefining of the word “friendship” was still extending only to my personal, select community. it’s really easy for me to know a lot of detail of someone’s life, but then do nothing with it but benefit myself. where is my “wise woman tradition”? my appreciation for the sanctity of marriage and family is of course strengthened by myself now being married, and how fitting that I expressed myself to Makenna on my one year wedding anniversary. I see where I could’ve had a positive impact and where I thought “let her deal with it on her own”. no wonder our young women are so lost. would I treat my daughter that way? why then another woman? a woman I sit in circle with? alright, here’s one area my psychology requires some major examining.

the week was finally beginning to elevate after everything was brought to light. Brittany, who’s been reading cards for 7 years, did a reading for me last night. of course it was the same congruent beauty I’m already familiar with – pregnancy is on the horizon, abundance, creating anything I want & all I need to do is choose, comradery, etc! the interesting part was the last 2 cards which represent the “2 possible outcomes”: one card was the piper who represents mysticism, music that lures children away, illusion, etc, while the other card was about refining the ability to articulate and communicate wisdom. it was so clear to me, where I could buy into my own illusions and feed them or I could focus on my wisdom, and how different my life would be on the other side of either repetitive action. what a wonderful confirming gift!

2 weeks until i´m back in Vancouver. this journey is still going deeper, unrelentlessly.